I’m a sucker for DIY and cooking blogs. Especially at Christmas. I love looking at other people’s houses…and trees…and food. These people inspire me.
But sometimes I need to know there are other people out there like me. Ladies who color in the scuff marks on their black heels with a Sharpie before a party. People who sometimes eat the Christmas cookies from the neighbors for breakfast. Maybe you feel this way, too? That’s why I’m here, my friend.
Earlier this week, it was snowing. I had Christmas music on the radio. The house was festive and the kids were disturbingly well behaved.
So I decided to bake. I wanted to try out these jam sandwich cookies and then I realized I had no patience for making tiny cookie-jam sandwiches. So I went with jam thumbprint cookies instead.
And got this:
What…happened…to my cookies??? They burned on the bottom, stayed raw on the inside, and then vomited jam all over my baking stone. I tried prettying them up…
And yes, they tasted as bad as they looked and yes, I might still have eaten four.
So then I tried popcorn balls. I popped my own corn and it turned out well, which means I should have stopped there. But I found a recipe that called for marshmallows and corn syrup and regular sugar and powdered sugar and how can that possibly be wrong?
I almost lost a crown trying to eat one of these buggers. I once chipped a tooth biting down really hard on the side of a fork and I swear to you, it was softer that these *&$% popcorn balls. And when I finished making them, I had this left:
which took me ninety minutes to clean. I began by chipping away at it with a metal spatula and eventually boiled a giant pot of water and soaked this until all that nastiness began to re-melt. Then I hacked away at it again with the spatula and the metal end of a spoon. Also, I burned my hand in the water.
My husband made dinner that night.